Well friends, here’s what was supposed to be the final part of my 5 part Agents of Mayhem video series. Sorry, it’s a little late.
Buy cuphead. (more…)
This video is the 3rd part of my ill-fated 5 part review. Sadly, due to severe technical problems with the game, there will only be 2 more AOM videos after this.
Volition fired over 30 of its estimated 200 employees today… and that is some of worst news we have gotten as a community. Plain and simple, this is fucked. This is a huge blow to the studio and in no such way is a good thing. I’ve heard people celebrating this as “we tried to warn you Volition!” and “HUR CALLED IT! NO ONE WANTED THIS!” I’m not going to name names… nah fuck it I will, Godzhand, WTFMan, and you other “fans” need to get a fucking clue. You two represent the acid of this community. I get it, we all love Saints Row 2, we all kept saying “return to your roots,” but how is this in any way healthy for us as a community? These are people that helped make Volition the awesome team they are, and you’re fucking proud that they’re gone? Unlike most game devs who shy away from our toxic asses, Volition devs have been fucking AWESOME in their communication and their community outreach over the years.
Let me transport you, back, back to the far off year of 2005, over ten years ago. We were halfway to 2010. At the time we had no idea what the future of cinema would hold for us, on one hand we had great films people will remember for years to come, like Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, and Sin City. On the other hand we had films that depicted a bleak future, a future of forgettable films laced with bland meaningless plot and awful effects that exist for no proper creative credence, such as Star Wars Episode III, Alone in the Dark, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Notice how all of the things I mentioned were either based on a preexistent property, a remake, or a sequel. Yet in this huge wave of films with huge budgets and all released by huge companies all for the sake of money, there was a film that completely stood out, a film made solely from sweat, tears, a passion. That film is the Neil Breen directorial debut, Double Down. (more…)
So when I announced that I got Agents of Mayhem early, the first question I was asked was about driving and whether or not it would be worth a damn. If you didn’t know, SR4 was kind of notorious for making vehicles completely useless 20 minutes into the game, and that reputation seems to have carried over with Agent of Mayhem, but let me assure you that is not the case. Triple jumping is AMAZING in this game, but unlike SR4’s super jump, it’s purpose is to climb buildings and hop rooftops. For distance, you’ll need a ride, and in my opinion, driving in Agents of Mayhem is absolutely solid.
Ever since I first learned about Scientology 15 years ago I have just been utterly fascinated by its very rotten existence. Through contact high alone, their heinous venom has left me fighting the symptoms of withdrawal. Indeed, for better or worse, I am infected with “America’s fastest growing religion.”
Bunnyhops. Barspins. Wheelies. These are things Fl1ppy doesn’t understand, for fl1ppy is a skateboarder. So when Mat Hoffman’s Pro BMX was advertised, I brushed it off as a cheap cash-in on the growing extreme sports phenomenon. I was kind of right, except now years later I’ve decided to give it a real chance. I’m going to explore the wonders of the grand and forgotten past of Activision O2, and you’re fucking coming with me bitch. Let’s learn what the Hoffman has that the Birdman doesn’t.
Here’s a dumb fun fact for your silly willy faces: The first Saints Row game to ever be released was made for Nokia Flip Phones. Mhm, you know it. Using a fucking dial pad to play poorly programmed games in java. Dear God, the wrath of gaming hath no bounds. When we’re at the point of making and selling games that literally play worse than the Atari 2600 in 2006, you know we’re being desperate whores. But yes, there was a short-lived time when we played video games on a dial pad, and we also had a Saint’s Row game to play on it as well.